The Grand Poobahs of the NCAA Basketball Tournament Selection Committee peered into their crystal balls, fired up the computers, consulted the tip sheets, shuffled their tarot cards, examined sweaty palms, harrumphed, postured, and pronounced all that they did, “very good.”

What is was they did, if you don’t know by now, is rig the tournament so their hand picked, number one selections, would be assured of reaching the Final Four and that was “very good” since it would make them the grand prognosticators they envision themselves to be. One member of the Grand Poobahs crowd unabashedly said that their goal is to get their hand picked, verified, and certified number one picks to the Final Four, thus enhancing their ability to determine things by peering into their crystal balls to determine things that us mere mortals will never understand, since we aren’t anywhere near being Grand Poobahs of anything except common sense.

Number 16 receives the great honor of playing number one. So far number 16 hasn’t ever beaten number one, though over the years there have been some anxious moments for the Grand Poobahs. But in the end their “expertness” of picking a 16 that can’t beat a number one makes them look ... well ... “very good.” The remainder of their amazing crystal ball determinations for seeds hasn’t done too well and it would seem that they would say, “That isn’t very good.” But no, they remain silent and rightfully so; that fortune teller that pronounces all “very good” might not like their reputation being sullied by a lesser seed whipping up on a higher seed.

One has to wonder who their picks are supposed to promote, the Grand Poobahs or the young men who participate to bring entertainment to the masses. If it is to bring fame to the pickers, they surely have struck out since their number ones didn’t make it and those young men on a team whom they didn’t think enough of to pick higher, not only wiped out the higher seeds but won the tournament. In addition, a close look shows that all the number ones appeared to come out of a cracked crystal ball exercise.

 But we do love to choose winners before the game is played, don’t we? Of course we do, and the Grand Poobahs rig the show so that it will happen. Well, don’t they? Yes they do, but the best laid plans of Grand Poobahs at times don’t go the way they think the ball should bounce. Yet, when the last point is scored, the last whistle is tooted, and quiet returns to the hall now empty of excited fans, the Grand Poobahs continue to pronounce it “very good” and act like they knew it would end the way it did. After all, us mere mortals can’t understand that the emanations of the crystal balls, fired up computers, tip sheets, shuffled tarot cards, and peeks into sweaty palms, not to mention reading the tea leaves, are to conceal the real outcome so we won’t get the idea that the madness is rigged. No matter who wins, the Grand Poobahs are always correct.

Realistically, if any sports other than college games were seeded with lessers playing better seeds, the perpetrators of such chicanery would be charged with fixing and rigging the outcome. But in deference to March Madness, the picks by the Grand Poobahs are tolerated.

In Sorting It Out, the winner not only overcame the rigging, but in the process revealed that the Grand Poobahs and their crystal balls, fired up computers, tip sheets, tarot cards, and peeks into sweaty palms is nothing but a rigging that didn’t work. Give a grand salute to the Florida boys for overcoming, and who are now the 2006 NCAA Tournament Champions, and that is “Very Good.”

© 03-17-2006 DEC